Written by: Donielle Pace
Can people of the opposite sex only be friends? I posed this question on Instagram the other week to gather feedback from different types of people. Based on a personal issue of my own with my best friend, who is a guy, and his girlfriend, I wanted to know with how society is changing so much socially, is it possible for a man and a woman to be just friends and nothing more?
In my situation, I will say yes. I only see my best friend as my best friend. We give each other advice on different situations, hang out together, and look out for each other; the same way I do my girlfriends. Some may look at the situation and say, it’s impossible that two attractive people can only be friends, but I beg to differ. Even though I’m open-minded and realize that you can’t only have friends of the same sex, I was curious to know if there were any others whose opinions differed.
On Instagram I posted if it was possible for males and females to be friends without any physical attraction or sexual interaction? There were mixed opinions, but the majority of the people who responded said that it was possible for females and males to be only friends.
“My best friend is a female and we’ve been friends for 7 years and not once have I tried her or ever thought of it,” said @_coreythegreat.
“Yes men can be friends with women, because we get our inside info from our female friends about the game,” said @doughfro.
It was astonishing to see so many men respond and agree that they could be only friends with a female whether she was attractive or not. There were some men who did not agree and strongly voiced their opinions.
“It will always be a connection from men and women; I just wouldn’t chance it,” said @jloveprettyboy.
“My answer varies based on how y’all met. If there was an attraction at first sight between either of y’all, then no it won’t work,” said @kush_ken.
After I gathered information from that question, I did a follow-up question, “Can you be completely comfortable with your boyfriend/girlfriend being friends with the opposite sex?” The opinions still varied. Some said yes as long as they were friends before, some said absolutely no, and others said you shouldn’t have to limit yourself on who you can or cannot befriend.
“This is the problem, mainly in the African American relationships. You can’t stay in a box because you will never be successful without having opposite sex friends. There are extraordinary people who can bring many different avenues to your life that may be a different gender. We need to grow up as young adults and live,” said @htwnsmasher.
“I don’t mind my boyfriend having female friends even if they had previous relations. If a “nigga” wanna cheat; he gon cheat regardless. I don’t believe in monitoring his friends plus I have male friends also,” said @lavish_kiwi.
The diverse feedback I received was phenomenal. Everyone knows what they can or cannot handle. In my opinion, it takes two people to mess around, so if your girlfriend/boyfriend’s best friend tries to come on to them, it is up to your boo to turn them down. At the end of the day, there is no strong relationship without trust, and if you cannot handle your significant other’s best friend being the opposite sex then maybe you should evaluate your relationship.
I met one of my closest friends through my last relationship. If I would have kept a closed-mind about my ex-boyfriend having a female best friend, then I would have short changed myself on getting to know a wonderful lady who has been a great friend to me during some of the most difficult times in my life. CGM